How to Feel Safer in Times of Uncertainty
We never know what life will bring. But sometimes that uncertainty is way more obvious! One of the things I hear most these days is that it is very hard to feel safe "with everything that is going on." Currently many people are experiencing a dip in their focus, motivation, hopes, balance and emotional stability. This is a very interesting opportunity to cultivate a better quality of life, something simple that is always in place to catch us when everything feels too much. It really does not need to cost the earth. Here is how.
Finding Rituals
The simpler the better. A dear friend of mine takes afternoon tea every single day and really enjoys that little bit of time to herself. Every evening before bed, I like to read a chapter from a book that will help me to relax, to escape in a beloved world, to think about supportive things, to learn about inspiring lives. I make time to paint most mornings, and to crochet most afternoons. Routine really can be healing and nurturing, grounding us in our own safe spot which we can always go back to when things are a bit shaky.
Connecting Mindfully
I pick a relaxed time to be in touch with friends and family, ask their news, share my news, inspiring each other. I swap recipes and photos, activities they might enjoy, inspiring documentaries and articles. There is no need to make each other stress out even more by sharing sordid conspiracy theories every time we contact people. We really must be aware that what we choose to absorb directly creates the culture we live in and truly affects our capacity to respond to life and to people in a balanced way. I have no shame whatsoever about not watching the news if it gets too much for my system.
Taking Time to Really Look
I like to sit down and look at my plants and flowers daily. That is such a simple and relaxing thing to do, watching my cheery little friends grow and enjoying their shapes and colours! If you don't live in the country, you can have the world at your fingertips with pictures, books and the Internet. Whatever you love to look at, try taking even more sweet time to enjoy it. A book of lovely photographs, a soothing painting, the "google images" section of stunning landscapes, your children... the world is ours to really look at and truly appreciate.
Giving Ourselves Permission
I am a bit worried about the trend just now inviting us to not waste a single minute of the confinement, and focus-focus-focus 24/7 on being our better selves. Yes, it is wonderful to make the most of any opportunity, but I always think prioritising mental health is the most important thing in life. Being gentle but firm always brings good results, and I think it's important to make it as easy as we can while remaining gently persistant and committed to whatever goals we have.
Trying to achieve our better selves under constant guilt and pressure will most certainly backfire. We can be our best selves and still be relaxed and serene about it. It's ok if sometimes we don't feel like doing all the things we are told we should do, it's ok if today the healthy diet went out of the window and the to-do list is ever-growing, it's fine if we just sat there in a daze. It's ok to be exhausted, in pain and to take the time it takes to get out of that phase at our own perfect pace. Every new minute we choose what direction to go in, and it's all right if sometimes we need a break from working on everything all at once.
Creating
That was sure to come up here of course :) Creating is my dearest lifeline, and it need not be a work of art every time. Exploring what we love to do, learning new things, discovering ourselves without judgement or pressure about the outcome, is a really beautiful way to learn to feel safe and to find within ourselves something that is always here for us, ready to support us and to open up every day in the richest way. Every mundane activity can be creative. Look at what we all do every day. Let's try to have more fun with it, let's take the time to do it well and with relaxed consideration, taking pride and pleasure in the making of it.
Self-Care
I love the immediately beneficial impact of simple self-care. These days there is a bit of confusion about what self-care is. Is it having a bubble bath with a glass of wine and some chocolates? If that's what you feel you need, go for it and enjoy it without guilt! Recharge your batteries in whatever way feels right for you at this moment.
For me it can be stretching gently to relieve tension, pain and wake up my brain. It could be a nap, a nutritious meal, or afternoon tea! Some fresh air, some time in silence for ourselves, reaching out to a very dear person... Quality time with a pet... Taking care of my appearance... Whatever self-care means to us, we can commit to do more of what makes us feel good, relaxed, balanced, and ultimately makes us more available to those who need us.
