Self-care rituals are a beautiful way to be here for ourselves no matter what might be going on in our lives. I find that having a well established self-care bubble to rely on is a foundation for balance, inner peace, relaxed productivity and discerning availability. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and stressed, it’s a friendly sign to prioritise a few of my self-care rituals.
Self-Care Rituals
I love rituals because they can make the most tedious thing enjoyable. Every day I need a lot of things to keep my body going, and I don’t always want to do all this self-care. It takes a lot of time, dedication and perseverance, and often feels like it takes me away from other things I prefer.
Sometimes I feel much too ill to want to take care of myself. But I try and make that effort, knowing that I accumulate those minutes of self-care over the long-term, with the results that I can have a much better quality of life. Rituals are habits that we can tailor to our preferences, and the results are so good that in the end we clearly see the value of regular self-care. I will share a few of my self-care rituals here today. But first…
Getting Over our Resistance to Self-Care
If we believe that caring for ourselves is selfish or a waste of time, it’s good to consider that we are the most important person in our life, and that if we don’t care for ourselves, no one else will do it for us. It’s a bit like going to the toilet. No matter how busy, exhausted or selfless we might be, we do need to take those moments for ourselves every day—only we can do that, and we feel so much better afterwards. No one thinks it's selfish to go to the toilet; on the contrary, it is deemed quite irresponsible not to go to the toilet when we need to. I think self-care is exactly the same thing.
Our Best Selves
Self-care is not selfish, it is discerning, wise, generous and very useful. We brush our teeth at least a few minutes every day, and that takes care of our mouth. In the same way, we can sprinkle a few minutes of self-care here and there every day to take care of many different aspects of our minds and bodies.
I don't think that doing the best for myself and looking after myself is selfish. Neglecting myself is selfish; it affects everyone around me and can make me become the worst version of myself. For all these reasons, I put self-care first and never feel guilty about being here for myself in the best way every day. I am my own best friend, and it is with pride that I honour myself and my needs. I make appointments with myself like I would with anyone else, and these are not negotiable. I pencil in the self-care rituals that I tend to avoid or forget, while others are easy and need no reminder. Let's find out what they are :)
Cuddling our Loved Ones
First thing in the morning, and last thing at night, it is a wonderful ritual to cuddle a loved one. It could be a partner, a child, a pet. Phones are away, computers are shut, screens are off, noise levels are low; all there is to do is enjoy each other in complete presence and openness. Days can be so busy that people hardly have time for each other, and so starting and ending the day in pure presence and cuddles can be wonderfully reconnecting and softening.
If Living Alone
If you have no loved one around to cuddle, I invite you to take those few minutes in a warm bed to completely relax, gently stretch, really relaxing into your body and feeling the warmth and cosiness of your bed. Very gently wake up or ease into sleep, thinking about what is a comfort to you. I have a ritual before I go to sleep of imagining that I am grooming the horse who lives in the field next to me. I have never groomed a horse in my life, but in this daydream before sleep, I brush her mane, rub her with straw, gently stroke her velvety nose, imagine the noises she makes, and admire her beautiful face. It is a lovely thing to think about. When in much pain it soothes me to think about a field with long grass and a gentle breeze. To slow my mind, I create art in my thoughts. Whatever daydream brings comfort is a great way to start and end each day.
Nutritious Meals
There are some foods that make me feel immediately comforted and nourished: lentils, miso soup, peppery green leaves, buckwheat, burdock, chestnuts, stewed apples, pumpkins, aromatic herbs, root vegetables, etc. When I eat those, I know I am helping myself, and it has become a ritual for me to have miso soup for breakfast, because it really gives a grounded and powerfully supportive direction to the day. Find your favourite healthy nutritious foods, and discover as many ways as you can to prepare and eat them so that you can have a healthy diet ritual every day without getting bored with the same flavours day in, day out.
Lights
I have so many fairy lights and candles in the house that when I light them, it is indeed a ritual, because it takes about a minute or two to go round them all. One of my candles is glittery gold and was a birthday gift from my mum. I treasure it and always light it while I paint. It makes a huge difference in the atmosphere and instantly makes me melt into a pool of golden glee! I love those simple joys and don't believe in keeping the best things for special days: every day is special.
Foot Massage
Every day at 15:15 (so precise!) my phone rings to let me know it is time for my foot massage. I recently had a health scare where it was obvious that my organs need some targetted TLC, so I decided to create a foot massage ritual. It only takes 10 minutes and my feet feel amazing afterwards. I use the principles of reflexology and acupressure for this ritual, and I can feel that it really supports my organs to function better. My feet feel amazing afterwards!
Creating
When I sit down to paint, I put on an audiobook and light a candle, and this is my creative bubble ritual sealed and safe around me. In this bubble I can be completely focused on colours, textures and my inner landscapes. I also love sitting down to textile work or yarn art. I gather my supplies, generally focusing on one colour scheme at a time, and this preparation of beautiful fibers is the perfect ritual for me. It ushers in the space of quiet contemplation that I love to enjoy when I am creating and discovering my intuitive designs. Sometimes I also enjoy having a relaxing tv series in the background while I do my textile work. I listen to it more than watch it, and love the immersion into that world while I am also focused on my own universe. Relaxing media is a great way to vary a ritual.
Bathing and Grooming
A top favourite for me because it makes me feel so much better and always more human! If I feel very sad, I know that gently wiping my face with a moist and warm face cloth will comfort me. If I feel distracted and scattered, I know that detangling my hair will make my mind feel tidier. If I feel nervous and agitated, I know that gently stretching will ground me. When I am in much pain and exhausted, I know that a bath will soothe me. All these things are so simple that we might forget how helpful they are when we feel our worst, but for me they work wonders every time to refresh and ground myself. What are the very simple things that you love to do and which always make you feel better?
Keeping Warm
Keeping warm and cosy is an essential aspect of my self-care. I use natural fibers only and love to wrap up in a pure wool blanket. I made myself this large throw that completely covers me, and I find it instantly soothing, warming and comforting. I love the texture of it, the colours, and it always feels like the most loving hug. Creating these heirloom pieces by hand is also part of my self-care rituals, and using this one each day is a profound gift to self.
Reading in Bed
This is one of my favourite self-care rituals. I have always loved reading, but as I grew up I realised I was spending less time with my books. I decided to carve out more time for that—I try to go to bed an hour early so that I can take the time to look at my books and have enough brain energy to understand what I am looking at. I have a small but treasured collection of books on food, history, houseplants, gardens, art, crafts, and nature, as well as beautifully illustrated children’s books. As part of my treatments involves frequent therapeutic baths, I also enjoy merging my bath ritual with my reading ritual by relaxing in the bath with a book.
Plant Love
This is a beautiful self-care ritual because it involves taking care of other beings while also taking care of myself. Watering the plants, moving them around, cleaning their leaves, grooming them and looking at them, whispering sweet nothings to them, is something I always love to do and which always makes me feel more settled, more balanced and open. I don’t usually have the energy to take care of all my plants in one go, so I tend to divide it by sections or areas. A Sunday ritual consists in watering the plants which live in my bedroom. Each night before sleep and each morning when I wake up, I see the plant shelves which face my bed. I take some minutes to really admire them from my bed as a self-care ritual.
Opening the Windows
Opening the windows for fresh air literally blows the cobwebs and brings in a fresh perspective. For me, filling the house with fresh air is an unavoidable self-care ritual, and I have been called a "fresh air freak!" I also love to take a few minutes here and there to lean on the windowsill (weather permitting) and just gaze at the landscape, enjoying the weather and feeling the fresh air on my face. Resting my eyes in this way also rests my mind and fuels my inspiration for creating more soothing art!
